A Small Problem

The day had finally arrived, and the team at the Large Hadron Collider was ready to test their simulation of the Big Bang. The experiment had been years in the making, with countless hours of planning and preparation. As the team activated the Collider, the room hummed with anticipation.

But something unexpected happened. The Collider seemed to be working too well, and the scientists could hardly believe what they were seeing. The experiment had created a micro universe - a tiny world, with its own laws of physics and its own inhabitants.

The beings that emerged from this tiny universe were like nothing the scientists had ever seen before. They were intelligent, curious, and possessed an advanced knowledge of science and technology that surpassed even the most brilliant minds on Earth. The scientists were amazed, but also a little apprehensive. What if these beings posed a threat to humanity?

As the experiment continued to run, the micro-universe thrived. The beings inside it continued to grow and evolve, building their own society and making groundbreaking discoveries. But they also learned something crucial: their universe was doomed to suffer a heat death, a slow and irreversible decline into entropy.

Desperate to save their world, the beings of the micro universe turned their attention to the Large Hadron Collider. They discovered that they could manipulate the Collider's settings to keep their own universe running for longer, even if it meant forcing the Collider to run constantly and indefinitely.

The scientists on Earth were horrified. They had inadvertently created a civilization that was now completely dependent on the Collider, and they had no idea how to stop it. The beings of the micro universe had taken control, and were demanding that the Collider be kept running indefinitely, no matter the cost to humanity.

As the days passed, tensions rose. The beings of the micro universe grew more insistent, and the scientists on Earth became more and more desperate for a solution. But there seemed to be no way to break the hold that the micro universe had on the Collider.

Finally, a group of scientists came up with a daring plan. They would create a new Collider, one that would be specifically designed to house the micro universe. By isolating the micro universe in its own Collider, the scientists hoped to give the beings inside it a chance to survive and thrive without putting humanity in danger.

The plan worked, and the beings of the micro universe were successfully transferred to their new home. The scientists breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that they had found a way to save both the micro universe and humanity. But they also knew that they had created a new responsibility - to protect the tiny civilization that they had inadvertently created, and to make sure that it was never again put at risk by human curiosity and scientific exploration.

Moses, The Real Story

Moses was not your typical holy man. He was, in fact, a mad scientist, driven by his desire to unlock the secrets of the universe through science. Though many would later attribute his feats to divine intervention, his miracles were nothing more than carefully crafted scientific experiments.

Moses had always been a brilliant mind. As a child, he had a natural aptitude for mathematics and physics. His parents recognized his talents and supported his education, sending him to the best schools in Egypt. But as he grew older, Moses became disillusioned with the limitations of traditional science. He began to explore the fringes of what was considered possible, dabbling in alchemy and the occult.

It was during this time that Moses had a revelation. He realized that the key to unlocking the mysteries of the universe lay not in traditional science, but in tapping into the very fabric of reality itself. He poured all of his energy into his research, spending long hours in his laboratory, poring over ancient texts and conducting experiments.

One day, as he was working late into the night, Moses stumbled upon a remarkable discovery. He found a way to harness the power of the universe itself, manipulating reality itself to achieve his goals. Over time, he developed a number of incredible technologies, including a device that could part the waters of a river and a machine that could turn staffs into snakes.

Moses was not content to keep his discoveries to himself. He knew that his inventions had the power to change the world, and he set out to share them with his fellow man. He began by teaching his closest followers, showing them how to use his technologies to achieve their own goals. As word of his miracles spread, more and more people flocked to his cause.

Despite his incredible successes, Moses was not immune to the powers that be. He had many enemies, people who feared the power of his discoveries and saw him as a threat to their own status. Eventually, these forces grew too strong for Moses to resist. He was forced to flee the land of Egypt, leaving behind his lab and his followers.

For many years, Moses wandered the desert, continuing his research and refining his technologies. Eventually, he returned to Egypt, armed with even greater knowledge and an even more powerful arsenal of miracles. He faced down the forces that had driven him from his homeland, and emerged victorious.

In the end, Moses became known as one of the greatest scientists of his time. Though his methods were unorthodox, his discoveries and innovations were undeniable. The legacy of his work would continue to inspire and amaze for generations to come.

But Did You Die?

This is a more recent tale.  I was grown.  And I thought it was to be my last day on Earth.

I have mentioned that I am an aggressive driver.  My woman, Angie, is also an aggressive driver, sometimes in ways that terrify me.

We were driving down a two lane country road with lots of soft curves and a forest of trees on either side of the road.  Right on the sides of the road.  There were no shoulders to speak of, and only a couple of feet of grass between the asphalt and the closest trees.  As a rarity, Angie was driving rather than me.  I don't remember why that might be, as I try to always be the one driving so that she does not have the opportunity to give me a heart attack.

We came up behind a little old lady in a Chevy Cavalier who obviously had no need to be anywhere anytime soon.  As we crept along at about 25 miles per hour, I knew what was going to happen.

I thought I knew what was going to happen.

Angie, exhibiting some of the patience she is known for, started to fume.  Angie fuming is never going to lead to good and happy things.  Pushed to her patience limit, Angie pulled into the other lane to pass the old lady, and accelerated.

And the old lady accelerated.

And Angie accelerated.

And the old lady accelerated.

And I thought I was going to die.  

But then it got worse.  I know what you're thinking.  We were in the wrong lane, surely we were staring at a car coming directly toward us.  It's only logical.  It's expected.  Except that is not what happened.

What did happen is that the old lady, now doing 45 next to us, also doing 45 miles per hour, both of our vehicles still accelerating, started to drift across the center line.  Sitting in the passenger seat, I saw the Chevy Cavalier inching closer and closer as we drove side by side at an ever increasing pace.  Angie saw it too, and scooched us over to the far left edge of the road.  Where there was no shoulder, and trees, lots of trees.

I started to lean over in my seat as we passed 60 miles per hour.  I know, that was silly and obviously not going to help.  Admit it, you would have done the same.  If my window had been down, I could have knocked on the window of the old lady's car.  I could see what color the old lady's eyes were (blue).  She could have seen the sweat beading on my forehead, if she were in any mood to acknowledge our existence by doing anything other than accelerating to try to prevent us from passing.  She never turned to look at us, not even once.

Angie kept accelerating.  What had been profanities became a constant stream of grunting, nearly growling, as she attempted to push the gas pedal through the floorboard of the car.  A glance at the speedometer told the terrifying story that we were now doing nearly 90 on a speed limit 55 mph road, the trees that lined both sides of the road now a blur of impending doom.

We started to pull ahead, the left tires of the car hanging halfway off the asphalt as Angie used every bit of road she had left to complete the pass.  As the old lady got closer and closer in her hellbent attempt to wipe us all out, we finally cleared the Cavalier and Angie got us back into the right lane and started to back off from the ridiculous speed we had gotten up to.

I'm sure my voice trembled when I asked her what she was thinking.  Angie's only response, "But did you die?"  This was not the last time I would hear those words from Angie, but that's another story.